Cool Status For Whatapp
1. I changed my password everywhere to ‘incorrect.’ That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, ‘Your password is incorrect.’
2. I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
3. If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.
4. If plan ‘A’ didn’t work. The alphabet has 25 more letters! so stay cool.
5. Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.
6. I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
7. The only way to do great work is to love what you do.
8. God is really creative, I mean… just look at me.
9. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.
10. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
11. I’m not lazy. I’m just on my energy saving mode.
12. Laughter is the best medicine. But, if you’re laughing without any reason, you need medicine.
13. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.
14. I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
15. Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.
16. I look at people sometimes and think…Really? That’s the sperm that won.
17. If I delete your number, you’re basically deleted from my life.
18. Sometimes one middle finger isn’t enough to let someone know how you feel. That’s why you have two hands.
Cool Status For Facebook
19. Don’t be so happy, I don’t really forgive people, I just pretend like it’s ok and wait for my turn to destroy them.
20. Never forget what someone says to you when they are angry, because that’s when the truth comes out…
21. I will not delete you or block you. I’m keeping you there so you will be able to see how happy I’m without you…
22. You have to learn the rules of the game and then you have to play better than anyone else.
23. Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
24. If people are talking behind your back, be happy that your the one in front.
25. Life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
26. No matter how smart you are. You can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.
27. Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.
28. How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.
29. Life has two rules: #1 Never quit #2 Always remember rule # 1.
30. Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.
31. The pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow. For every challenge encountered there is opportunity for growth.
32. The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.
33. The best revenge is massive success.
Cool Status For Girls
34. Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
35. Who says nothing is impossible? I’ve been doing nothing for years.
36. The ideal man doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t get angry, doesn’t exist.
37. I love everyone! I love to be around some people, I love to stay away from others, and some I’d just love to punch right in the face!
38. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
39. It’s not important to win, it’s important to make the other guy lose.
40. People say you can’t live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.
41. I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe, I’m winning.
42. Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
43. If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.
44. I am too lazy to be lazy.
45. A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.
46. Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter… people the opposite.
47. I don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t do drugs, I only have one small problem, I lie.
48. The road to success is always under construction.
49. I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
50. My wife told me the other day that I don’t take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station.
Cool Status For Boys
51. Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?
52. At least don’t make someone fall in love with you when you can’t love them forever, You’ve no idea how much it suffocates to be in love with someone who stops loving you…
53. I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.
54. When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.
55. You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
56. The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!
57. The best revenge is massive success.
58. Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.
59. Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.
60. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
61. Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.
62. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
63. I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
64. Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday.
65. To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that’s even more human.
66. I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
67. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see.
68. Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.
69. I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!… He’s dreaming too.
70. Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.
Cool Status For Husband
71. Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.
72. He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.
73. The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.
74. If you don’t succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
75. Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn’t contain any calories.
76. Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo.
77. Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
78. To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.
79. A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
80. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
81. The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything.
82. A girl called me once and said “come over, nobody is home!” I went there and she was right, nobody was home!
83. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
84. He who laughs last didn’t get it.
85. Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.
86. I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making.
87. Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
Cool Status For Wife
88. Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
89. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
90. When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess.
91. A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
92. The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it’s having the phone number of somebody who does!
93. Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.
94. My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one.
95. I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you… and.. I think I’ll look at the moon again?!
96. I believe there should be a better way to start each day… instead of waking up every morning.
97. I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!
98. The best things in life are free. The rest are too expensive.
99. Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years…. then we met.
100. If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.