Nice Short Status
1. Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.
2. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car”.
3. I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
4. I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
5. Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
6. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
7. We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than fat person.
8. A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
9. My son is now an entrepreneur. That’s what you are called when you don’t have a job.
10. The longer the title the less important the job.
11. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
12. By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.
13. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
14. A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
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15. The real reason women live longer than men because they don’t have to live with women.
16. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
17. If winning isn’t everything why do they keep score?
18. After (M)onday and (T)uesday even the week says WTF !!
19. Women should not have children after 35. Really… 35 children are enough.
20. There are no winners in life… only survivors!
21. Learn to walk before you run.
22. People tend to repeat mistakes made by others over the generations, not learning from them.
23. Live within your income, don’t be too ambitious in your plans.
24. It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
25. A good reputation is precious, difficult to earn and cannot be bought.
26. Everything has to have a small beginning.
27. Love motivates people to look for solutions to all problems.
28. Don’t shut the barn door after the horse is gone.
29. Before you begin to hope about possessing something, make sure you are qualified for it.
30. Working hard will bring you riches and success.
31. For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember.. that’s where the knives are kept.
32. Some of my friends are like a slinky – completely useless, but fun to push down stairs.
33. I wake up when I can’t hold my pee in any longer.
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34. I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
35. LIKE if you have that one friend that Laughs at everything. Even when it’s not funny.
36. Telling someone that you’re going to bed, When you’re actually not, and then having to hold back from posting things on Facebook.
37. That awkward moment when someone *Likes* One of your Very old Facebook statuses and you think “Creeper”.
38. I hate it when I’m singing along to a song and the artist gets the words wrong
39. That awkward moment when you’re trying to ignore a call and accidentally answer it.
40. If nobody hates you, you are doing something boring.
41. A small incident can reveal an important event.
42. It is impossible to change someone’s ways or habits, especially if he is old and resists change.
43. People like to hear good things said about them although they may not be the truth.
44. People tend to lose respect for people they are close to or in close company with all the time.
45. One success doesn’t guarantee complete success.
46. An extremely proud person runs the risk of being humbled in front of everyone.
47. Something that one already has is better than going after something seemingly more worthwhile that one may not be able to get.
48. People who know they are good at something tend to boast about their ability.
49. Do something as you have seen it done although it may be different from your own way of doing it.
50. Everyone has a common beginning, and therefore, no one is above another.
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51. When a person starts being successful, he is likely to continue being successful.
52. The success of a group or team depends on the full commitment of every member.
53. Don’t make things difficult for yourself, always find the simplest means of achieving your objective.
54.When one is in a new place, country or situation he must adapt himself to the new manners and customs.
55. You do not need to have too many friends or read too many books in order to live a balanced, fulfilled and complete life as long as the friends and books you do have are full of substance.
56. Do not be so foolish as to destroy the source of your good fortune out of pride, greed, anger etc.
57. The one who waits to listen to what others have to say before speaking has a better understanding of a situation.
58. Being honest is believed to be the best route to take.
59. Anyone has the right to look at or speak to anyone else without having to worry about status, position, upbringing etc.
60. Some items may save you money because they are cheap, but their quality may be poor, and this may cost you a lot of money in repairs and getting replacements later.
61. Time is precious, once it is past no one can go back and claim it thus everyone should be mindful of how his time is spent.
62. When people are dissatisfied or angry, they sometimes react by doing foolish things that prove harmful to themselves.
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63. Warning!!! Aliens are coming to abduct all the sexy, beautiful people!! Don’t worry…you are OK. I just wanted to say “good-bye!”
64. Mom always said not to write on walls…but apparently on Facebook you can.
65. Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
66. Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
67. Girls spend the first 10 years of their life’s playing with barbies. The next 10 years of their lifes they try to look like one. (;
68. I am not born to please people, So if you want to get pleased try me in next life…good luck!
69. If money grew on trees, girls would be dating monkeys!
70. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
71. Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
72. Status: I can’t log into Facebook
73. Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like
74. One day a chicken crossed the road and met james bond and said whats your name?? ….bond James Bond… whats yours??..ken chick ken!
75. Remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
Beautiful Short Status
76. Wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
77. If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s a millionaire walking around that invented the pool noodle.
78. Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person. ..apparently they call THAT stalking.
79. 1. Pour milk on floor. 2. Ask which kid did it. 3. Send them to their rooms when they don’t admit it. 4. Enjoy peaceful evening.
80. Women love the winter because they don’t have to shave their legs. I think it’s time for me to shave though…my giraffe tattoo has a mustache!
81. Woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on my face… Yes my kids found my Sharpie stash.
82. Somebody slowly drove by my apartment around 3am this morning blasting not rap, not rock, but organ music. I’m pretty sure it was the Phantom of the Opera.
83. If I opened a camera store called Photo Shop, do you think I’d get sued by Adobe?
85. A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
86. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police
87. He who knows does not speak. He who speaks does not know.
89. A bad situation you have been complaining about will suddenly seem a blessing when something worse happens.
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90. Knowing only a little about something can cause you to distort the truth or overestimate, misunderstand something.
91. It is always better to get the view of another than to rely entirely on one’s own judgment.
92. Too many people doing the same thing at the same time will not be successful.
93. Once a mistake has been made or an error committed, it’s too late to take precautions to prevent it from happening.
94. Never lose hope, but be prepared with an alternative if things do not go as planned.
95. If you are rich and successful, you will attract many friends, but if you should suffer hardship or have misfortune, your friends will quickly depart.
96. If you say discretion is the better part of valor, you mean that avoiding a dangerous or unpleasant situation is sometimes the most sensible thing to do.
97. People who are very rich do not feel the need to speak about their wealthy as they do not feel threatened in any way.
98. If we could get all the things we wanted just by making a wish, everyone would have all he ever wanted.
99. It is difficult advising people on matters they are supposed to be experts on because they believe they know better.
100. People who talk too much may give away important secrets that could harm themselves or others.